“Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” -Mary Oliver
Something about turning 40 ignited a huge shift in my perspective. It occurs to me that this may be the often touted “mid-life crisis” – though I would change the word “crisis” to “transition” – a mid-life transition. The intentionality of living has developed a stronger sense of urgency to it. The choices I make not only day by day, but moment by moment carry a weight of desire to embrace them fully. It is a renewed reminder that I have but one life to live on this earth and if I’m lucky (and I pray to God I am) I will have another 40 years ahead of me; but as time speeds up with age, 40 years feels so brief.
Suddenly I’m looking at the second half of my life and how I want to invest it; how I want to lean fully into the person God has created me to be; how it’s “now or never” to cultivate the life I want to leave behind me.
The first half has been a true adventure. My life feels rich in friendship and experience. I marvel at the paths I’ve been on just from being willing to follow my dreams and see where they take me. Those paths have not been free of pain or disappointment, but I have to say, its been pretty incredible; a life custom-designed for my heart. However, my desires today are shifting in a profound, but subtle way. Previously, I have let my dreams determine my life path and I strived to consider who I am choosing to be within the context of that path. Now, I seem to be more worried about who I am designed to be and letting that drive what dreams unfold.
Do you see the shift? The core shift of the dreams determining my path and who I am choosing to be verses who I am choosing to be determining my dreams? It is very subtle, and even trying to put it into words that make sense has delayed the posting of this blog. …and I’m still not satisfied with the clarity of my explanation.
I feel that second-half of life urgency to be intentional with how my “being” can make the greatest impact or have the greatest ripple effect of influence. I’ve got one life to live on this earth. Every moment gone is a moment gone and I want to live my series of moments well.
It’s an exciting time. I’m not sure what I’ll be asked to lay down or to pick up. With questions of motherhood and career direction likely being answered for me in the next year or two, I’m facing crossroads of possible options as to what context I’ll be investing the second half of my life. A thrilling uncertainty.
So what about you? Tell me about the seasons of life that ignited your own crossroads! A graduation? A transition? Reaching a certain age or stage…? I’d love to hear your experience!